And I Ate Nothing But Protein Shakes, Falcon Eggs, and Rocks

So since my Things I’ve Learned in College Post is so amusing, I figured I’d add ten more things on.

1. For your TV to work, you will need a coaxial cable. The people at Wal-Mart do not know what it is, don’t bother asking them. Also, buy it way before move in day. Otherwise you will go to multiple stores and buy the very last one Best Buy has.
2. Every teacher will tell you to buy a textbook plus at least three chapter books. Just buy the chapter books. The teacher will never use the textbook. They just assign it so you will “be prepared” for the lectures.
3. In high school, they tell you attendance isn’t a big deal in college. LIES! If you miss a class, you will get behind. Also, many teachers have you sign in when you get to the class. There’s a few classes that you can get away with skipping, so use those for your sick days.
4. No matter what medication you buy at the beginning of the year, you will end up needing completely different ones by the middle of the semester. I thought basic pain, allergy, and cold meds would be fine. I had to go out and cortisone cream and Benadryl cream a few weeks into the semester.
5. At the beginning of the year, you will tell yourself that you will eat healthy and not drink soda. That will only last about two weeks. Once stress catches up with you, you will eat fried foods and soda in the dining hall and still need a chip and candy stash in the room.
6. When your computer/internet is broken, it is a major crisis. Nothing else matters until it is fixed.
7. Always room with someone you know. Don’t even be suitemates with total strangers. Otherwise you will most likely be paired with an obnoxious whore who will keep you up with loud talking, throwing up, and other bad stuff.
8. You are never to old to take a nap. Especially after an early class. But you will get this weird taste in your mouth that will not go away for hours.
9. When you start feeling sick, drink only Gatorade and orange juice until you feel better. It helps to mix orange juice and guava juice, since it tastes better than plain orange.
10. When living in a tiny dorm room, pick a spot and stay there. There’s not enough room to move around, so we pretty much just move in order to leave the room. Carlin has her chair and I have the bed, which keeps us out of each other’s way.